whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
