ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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