When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
