if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
