I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
