U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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