Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
