Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
