the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
try to milk me bitch
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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