He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
