I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
