so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
