i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He better not be in your backpack
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
