That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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