Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
my liver is dry heaving
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
