Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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