I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
