I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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