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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well you can't waste a boner
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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