At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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