my being single is dangerous.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
