can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
