What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
