yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
