i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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