after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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