No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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