Tell her she can't have a vagina
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
