Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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