Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The uberlube is also flammable
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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