Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The air was thick with penises
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
