They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize