Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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