I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
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say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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