i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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