You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I AM VODKA MAN
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
