well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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