your room smells of hookers.
And success
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
