it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
