And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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