I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
