What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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