When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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