At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
