Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so explain again why im purple
no
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
