i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
