matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
