I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
