I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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