What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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