i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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