I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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