Dual....:-)
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
