just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
