matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
