i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
