are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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