i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it's great music for shaving your balls
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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