this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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