I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
