I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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