omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
false alarm, still single
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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